…shigdaodafhgsd.
Berry, I feel so divided over you right now.
Like, seriously…I want us to be friends again. Seriously, I do.
But you’re against Die Cis Scum, and that tends to be a bit of a dealbreaker.
I understand the concept of it - I do. I just can’t believe you guys aren’t understanding fighting hate with hate only breeds more hate.
Plus my own mental issues tend to make me take a lot of things out of context whether I mean to or not which makes me overreact to things like this. v.v
Thing is…You’re totally tone-policing right now. ‘Don’t tone-police’ is basically ally rule 1. Like a lot of people have said before, if your status as an ally is dependent on us being nice to you all the time, you’re terrible at being an ally.
‘Cause here’s the thing…Major privileges, like cis privilege? General rule of thumb is that cis people SHOULD feel uncomfortable when they’re being called out, like with Die Cis Scum. This holds true for all really major privileges, like white privilege-I’m white, and if a POC’s making me feel uncomfortable about my white privilege, they’re doing it RIGHT. When you feel uncomfortable about your privilege, you realize you actually have it and you work to address it.
Also, people just want a way to express their anger at systems of oppression. That’s what 99% of Die Cis Scum is. It’s not made for cis people-it’s made for trans people.
There’s this really cool girl out there-Autumn. Her Tumblr URL is autumn-and-eve. She’s trans (non-binary trans woman), and she also has BPD. She’s a pretty major supporter of Die Cis Scum (as you’ll see if you take a cursory glance at her blog). She can probably explain all of this from a BPD perspective. (‘Course, I fit 6/9 symptoms, maybe 7/9…)
Disabled by Culture
This blog is mostly for quotes. The main topics are disability, culture, LGBTQ-stuff, and feminism.
Coming Out as Trangender, Genderqueer, and/or Non-Binary Masterpost
gqid:
I’ve been getting lots of questions on Genderqueer Identities in regards to coming out lately. I continue to welcome questions, but I would also like to make a masterpost of resources I tend to recommend to people - this is a work in progress. Please note, you should not feel obligated to come out. Furthermore, you may want to come out to some people, but not to others - this is a very personal process.
You may find pros as well as cons in the resources below - take what you find will be useful to you and leave the rest behind. Be aware that coming out can be followed by unpredictable responses, both positive and negative, from friends, family or partners. Since there are fewer resources at present about coming out as genderqueer or non-binary, many resources will pertain to transgender people who identify as men or women - many of these suggestions can potentially be adapted to one’s own identity and situation. I have also included guides to potentially show people one has come out to to aid in understanding - as with the guides on coming out, use your own discretion, as a variety of suggestions and viewpoints are represented.
If you know of further resources concerning coming out as trans*, genderqueer, and/or non-binary or want to share your own personal coming out story, please let me know!
How-Tos on Coming Out:
Human Rights Commission: Transgender (scroll down the page to Coming Out to Family as Transgender, Coming Out in the Workplace as Transgender, and/or Marriage and Coming Out as Transgender)
MCC Transgender Ministries - Coming Out as a Transgender Person: A Workbook (religion-oriented)
PFLAG: Coming Out Trans to Your Parents & Family
Susan’s Place: A Guide to Coming Out to Family
Transgender Mental Health: Thoughts on “coming out” as Transgender to family
TransYouth Family Allies: Considering Coming Out as Gender Variant/Transgender to Your Parents?
Forums Where You Can Ask Questions About Coming Out:
AVEN: Gender Discussion, Forum GenderQueer (Russian), Laura’s Playground, Scarleteen: Gender Issues, Susan’s Place, TransYada, What is Gender?
Personal Stories and Advice on Coming Out and Other Resources:
Coming out to your parents: a 101 for non-binary types
Genderqueer Fashionista: Coming Out to My Family
Hackgender: On Coming Out as Genderqueer
Neutrois Nonsense: On (Not) Coming Out
Neutrois Nonsense: Coming Out: The Plan
Nico Lang: Yup, I’m Genderqueer
When I Came Out: Stories on Coming Out as Genderqueer
youwillfly: Dating a Genderqueer (focused on coming out to a partner)
Search genderqueer.tumblr.com for posts on coming out
Search genderqueerid.com for posts on coming out
FAQs and Guides for People You Have Come Out To:
Feeling Wrong in Your Own Body: Understanding What it Means to Be Transgender by Jaime Seba (a good general guide - title may be problematic; this includes some discussion of genderqueer identity)
Gendered Intelligence: A Guide for Parents and Family Members of TransPeople in the UK
Gender Now Coloring Book: A Learning Adventure for Children and Adults by Maya Christina Gonzales
Thanks to Kalmplex for documenting, check the blog for the full transcript. Here is an excerpt:
“Trust your struggle, you don’t need a man to justify the existence of sexism and I don’t need white folks to affirm my lived daily reality of racialized sexism. Subjectivity is a powerful place. What happens when the specimen that you have under the magnifying glass speaks back? When the subject of the anthropological study raises their hand in class and says no. Keep speaking out as the experts of your own experiences, tell your truths, step back and allow others whose voices are not often acknowledged take up more space. Know that there are multiple narratives that all exist at the same time, the truth of another should complicate your own, but not invalidate.
There is an enormous privilege that comes from the ability to change what you’re wearing or where you are walking and be able to find safety, even relative safety. The normalization of the disappearance, rape, torture and murder of Black Womyn, Womyn Of Colour & First Nations Womyn (who may and may not be cash poor, differently abled, possessing status etc.) is a part of the foundation of ‘modern’ Western-Euro science, in-justice, and government and I never get to take a break.”
(via truealma)
(via truealma)
Please try not to beat yourself up today! You don’t have to be so hard on yourself!
(via iamsunem)
Sarah Palmer at Terraria
Berkeley, CA 2012
(via iamsunem)
“I like that I stick out. I was watching ‘Valentine’s Day’ on the plane recently. I have a tiny part in that movie. I was watching all the women — Jessica Biel, and Emma Roberts, and Jennifer Garner and Julia Roberts. They are gorgeous women, and I don’t want to take anything away from them, but they all do have a very classical look, with a very thin nose. I’m watching this parade of these faces and then, boom, it was my face, and I was taken aback. I was like, ‘Oh, my nose is so big!’ I have never in my life thought I had a big nose, but, well, there it was. The first time I was on TV, on ‘Flight of the Conchords,’ someone put up a YouTube clip and said, ‘You’re too ugly to be on TV.’ And I was like, ‘That is exactly why it’s a good thing that I’m on TV.’”
(via iamsunem)
(via indulgedinboredom)
(via skywritingg)
Wow, this is unnecessarily harsh. I rarely feel dehumanized and rejected. I’m uncomfortable with this generalization.
Unnecessarily harsh?
Are you fucking kidding me?
The dehumanization of disabled people has been going on since…always. Disabled people that are visibly disabled encounter negative stereotypes and social attitudes that dehumanize, patronize, and objectify them because of their bodies. Disabled people of color face this on top of the social attitudes they face for being people of color; trans disabled people face this on top of the social attitudes they face for being trans; the list goes on. But you think it’s ok to dismiss the experiences of all these people just because you lack personal experience with this kind of treatment?
You should be uncomfortable with this, because most disabled people are uncomfortable with being treated this way.
Okay, please don’t try to tell me that I don’t understand, because I do. Being disabled is nothing new to me. I’m not dismissing anything. I don’t have the added discrimination of being a person of color or trans, but I know what this discrimination feels like. I’m uncomfortable with the fact that you are so goddamn angry about it. Maybe it’s because I think of myself as happy with who I am and I wouldn’t change it, but yes, I face discrimination, and I don’t let it affect me. I chose to not make myself a miserable person by letting others affect how I feel about myself and my body. It is my body and it should only matter what I think of it. From my experience, this type of discrimination only comes from ignorance and how can you be effectively informative if you’re an asshole to everyone who is lacking the proper information. I would rather take the discrimination and use it to teach someone than to let them continue with their ignorant thoughts. If you want to let every little thing get to you, then go ahead and be my guest.
I’m telling you you don’t understand, because you don’t fucking understand. You are dismissing people when you tell them how they should deal with discrimination. You are dismissing people when you tell them they shouldn’t talk about their experiences because it’s “too harsh”.
Fuck off.
The funny part about this whole thing is that if you look at just the image, it’s not that harsh. It doesn’t say “death to the abled!” or a less harsh “hey assholes” or “fuck off” (though I would still stand behind it if it did), it’s a pretty simple “stop doing that shit” because disabled bodies very simply are dehumanized. How an individual chooses to handle it doesn’t change that it’s what society does. Maybe I’m just extra bitter because I found myself in an industry that turned out to be ridiculously ableist (in a company that practically lived off of inspiration porn), but I don’t see anything wrong with wanting people to see disabled bodies differently than they were taught to. I don’t care if every last one of us can laugh and brush it off, dehumanizing anyone is never OK.
“let it go - the” by ee cummings
(via oureyesmightmeet)
Babe Alert.
from “evolution of a queen”
I am really trying to pursue plus size modeling so this is just one of many that will go into my portfolio :)
(via smashedwordbrokenopen)
OOTD: Self loves makes me smile. A lot.
I have had more and more days like this lately. Days where I just feel too cute to be alive, and I can’t stop from smiling. It’s not always easy, but breaking yourself of the self-loathing habits you were brought up to know is hard. Once you start breaking free, though, life is better in all the ways.
There’s not much to say about this outfit, because it was too hot (or I was too lazy) to accessorize. The dress is thrifted, and it was the first thing I thrifted upon moving to Georgia! I wear it probably once a week. Love.
Want that dress. Miss your face. Love you 5ever.
Hey friends! Do you go to a lot of shows?? Do you like music??
I’m helping to compile a list of venues throughout the US that bands we’re working with could play at. We’re essentially looking to be able to have an archive of venues that we can contact and help bands book shows at. The primary band we’re looking to book for (right now) is Aqueous, but the archive will help as more bands are being added to the team as we speak. So…
-What’s your favorite venue to go to in your hometown? Or, what’s your favorite venue to go to period?
-What’s your favorite local festival? Or, what’s your favorite festival period?
Websites/any info you have on them would be great! And who knows, I could end up at a show there visiting you ;)
Also, if you can’t help me out by directing me to a venue, it would be greatly appreciated if you reblogged this to your followers, so more people could be reached!
**I’ll be compiling a list of all the blogs that help me out by answering/reblogging this post, and broadcasting it to all my followers. So if you want everyone to know what a great person you are there’s another incentive ;)
My music venue suggestions are under the cut (I’ve bolded the best ones)
What is Emotional Abuse?
Abuse is any behavior that is designed to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults. Emotional abuse is any kind of abuse that is emotional rather than physical in nature. It can include anything from verbal abuse and constant criticism to more subtle tactics, such as intimidation, manipulation, and refusal to ever be pleased.
Emotional abuse is like brain washing in that it systematically wears away at the victim’s self-confidence, sense of self-worth, trust in their own perceptions, and self-concept. Whether it is done by constant berating and belittling, by intimidation, or under the guise of “guidance,” “teaching,” or “advice,” the results are similar. Eventually, the recipient of the abuse loses all sense of self and remnants of personal value. Emotional abuse cuts to the very core of a person, creating scars that may be far deeper and more lasting than physical ones (Engel, 1992, p. 10).
” UIUC Counseling Center (via emotionalabuseawareness)